Apps and Software
Relationships

Making friends is hard, but these 5 apps promise to make it easier

Plus, actionable tips for how to do it.
By Bethany Allard  on 
All products featured here are independently selected by our editors and writers. If you buy something through links on our site, Mashable may earn an affiliate commission.

Our Top 5 Picks

Bumble BFF (opens in a new tab)

Best for Swipers

One of the biggest dating apps is also one of the best places to make friends online.

The Good

  • Familiar swiping formula that's easy to follow
  • Large user base
  • Tons of profile tags help filter people you might not click with
  • 24 hour chat limit helps you actually talk to the people you match with

The Bad

  • Conversations expire a little too quick for some
  • People might ghost like they do on dating apps

The Bottom Line

Finding friends doesn't feel so impossible with the Bumble BFF's platonic take on a familiar formula.
Pros & Cons

Meetup (opens in a new tab)

Best for Actually Making Plans

Meetup is exactly what it sounds like — an app that wants you to actually meet the people you want to be friends with.

The Good

  • Wide variety of groups for a bunch of different hobbies and passions
  • App is easy to navigate
  • Convenient to find events last-minute and ahead of time
  • Simple to find people you have things in common with

The Bad

  • Some groups might require a membership fee
  • Can feel a bit intimidating to break into a group

The Bottom Line

From community activism to groups that love board games, you can find your people, and actually meet them in-person, with Meetup.
Pros & Cons

Slowly (opens in a new tab)

Best For the Pen Pal Experience

For building connection through communication with people all over the world, Slowly is the way to go.

The Good

  • Encourages deep and thoughtful discussion
  • Letter delivery time mimics the pen pal delivery
  • Plenty of customization features for how you want to send and receive messages
  • Can meet people from all over

The Bad

  • Can take a while to hear back from people
  • Minimal customization options for avatar
  • No searching by location, so you'll likely find only long distance friends

The Bottom Line

Slowly offers a unique digital take on the pen pal experience that allows you to take your time when getting to know people.
Pros & Cons

Discord (opens in a new tab)

Best for Finding Community Wherever You Are

Hosting servers for almost every interest out there, Discord gives you a place to find and get to know people with shared interests.

The Good

  • There's a server for almost any interest under the sun
  • Text chat, voice chat, and video call available
  • Channels within servers allow you to talk about niche interests
  • Can make connections with a group or one-on-one

The Bad

  • Interface can be confusing at first
  • Not designed for one-on-one connection

The Bottom Line

Originally created for gamers, Discord has become the home to many communities across the internet.
Pros & Cons

Nextdoor (opens in a new tab)

Best for Getting to Know the Neighborhood

If you've been trying to figure out how to get to know your neighbors, look no further than Nextdoor.

The Good

  • Users are your actual neighbors (mostly)
  • Great place to find local events, lost-and-founds, and businesses
  • Generally makes it easy to see what's happening in your hyper-local community

The Bad

  • Not built around making friends
  • Can be a bit drama heavy

The Bottom Line

If you want to get to know your neighborhood, Nextdoor can give you a picture of the good and the not-as-good alike.
Pros & Cons

The great equalizer of adulthood is that at some point, we all fear we're actually very bad at making friends.

No, this isn't because you're unlikable or have no real social skills. Making friends in adulthood has always been tricky, though admittedly lockdown and the continued pandemic don't exactly facilitate the most robust social life. The past two years have also had many of us evaluating what we want out of our friendships, and even, in some cases, deciding to end them.

If you've caught yourself feeling a little lonelier than usual lately, you're not alone. The good news is humans are social creatures, so even if you consider yourself the shiest of capital-I Introverts, you can still make friends. And because it's the 21st century, one of the best ways to find new online and offline pals is with the help of apps.

Are there even apps just for finding friends?

Yes, because there truly is an app for everything. We're not just talking social media sites like Twitter and Instagram. Though they can be great for keeping up with people, Twitter can get toxic quick and Instagram works best when you already have an existing pool of friends to interact with. That's why we believe in the power of the friendship app, like Bumble BFF(opens in a new tab), (opens in a new tab)Slowly(opens in a new tab), and even Discord(opens in a new tab).

If you're feeling a little skeptical, we get it — dating app culture can already be its own special kind of hell, do we really want to add platonic relationships into the mix? But the simple fact is that the internet allows you to widen your pool of potential pals. Plus, we've chosen a careful selection of apps that are designed to prioritize quality over quantity, so you won't find yourself struggling to turn a string of messages with a stranger online into an actual friendship.

Tips for making friends online

Unsurprisingly, after two years after getting the bulk of our human connection through screens, many of us feel like we're having to relearn how to interact with others. Young people in particular are reported to be experiencing increased loneliness(opens in a new tab) and social anxiety(opens in a new tab), but with pretty much all the normal organizing structures of life either drastically changed or gone altogether, everyone is going through some version of refiguring how to relate to other human beings.

So understandably, putting yourself out there to find new friends can feel a bit intimidating. While each of these apps have some built-in features to help you make those connections, we've come up with some tips to ease you back into the social scene.

  • Ask questions: Getting to know someone actually means you take the time to get to know someone. Instead of just waiting for your turn to talk, pay attention to what the other person is saying, and ask questions. People can tell when you're putting in the effort, and if they're willing to return your energy, that could be the beginning of a bright friendship future.

  • Be aware of your social battery: When you're all of a sudden exposed to a bunch of people who also want to make friends, it can be tempting to reach out to every person that looks like they might have even one single thing in common with you. However, if you actually want to hold a conversation, sending out 17 DMs at once might not be the move. Yes, this is your chance to meet people, but be aware of how much of your time you're willing to dedicate.

  • Make plans consistently: Psychologist Marisa G. Franco told WBUR(opens in a new tab) that having regular hangouts, like a rotating potluck with a group, helps build friendships. Does that mean you have to set up a weekly dinner date with every Bumble BFF match you make? No. But for the people who you really click with, building in the time in both your schedules where you'll see each other regularly can help a burgeoning friendship grow even stronger.

  • Understand that not every connection will work out: Making friends and dating aren't all that different. You may have realized that pre-adulthood is full of friendships of circumstance, which can make you feel that every adulthood friendship that doesn't work out is because your social skills are lacking. Likely, the case is that you and that person weren't meant to be best buds, and that's okay. Finding your people takes time, and inevitably the search involves some matches that don't pan out.

  • Don't forget that you're a cool person: Even if you feel out of practice in the friendship department, it's important to remind yourself that you're someone that's worth getting to know. Coming into a new relationship with confidence allows you to put yourself out there, understand it's okay when things don't work out, and make connections as the most genuine version of yourself.

Most of all remember that as frustrating and cliché as it may be, good things (friendships included) tend to take time. To help along your journey, here are five of the best apps for finding and making friends.

Best for Swipers
Credit: Bumble
Specs
  • Local or long-distance friendships: Both
  • App or web: Both

If you're familiar with Bumble, chances are you've heard of Bumble BFF(opens in a new tab). The platonic version of Bumble launched in 2016, giving us all a new way to be on the apps. With the familiar swiping formula, it's easy for any veteran dating app user or newbie to get a handle on how to look for pals.

Bumble provides you with a collection of tags to help you fill out your profile, so all it takes is a few taps to let other users know that you're new in town, changing careers, and living with a roommate (which are just a sampling of options among the many tags). Similar to most dating profiles, you can also fill out your work, interests, profile prompts, relationship status, and of course, trusty bio, where many users will say what kind of friends they're looking for (though there are also tags for this, if you want to keep it broad). When it comes to actually making conversation, Bumble's infamous 24-hour chat limit helps prompt some messages, even if you feel a little awkward at first.

It doesn't reinvent the relationship app wheel, but it's easy to understand, quick to fill out, and gives you access to tons of potential, local friends in no time at all. Plus, Bumble's popularity helps with there actually being plenty of users on the app (there's a reason it's been hyped on TikTok(opens in a new tab) more than a few times).

Best for Actually Making Plans
Credit: Meetup
Specs
  • Local or long-distance friends: Local
  • App or web: Both

If you find yourself constantly wishing "If only I had someone to do XYZ activity with," you need to check out Meetup(opens in a new tab).

When you sign up on the app, it'll prompt you to select a few categories of interest, which includes games, health and wellbeing, music, community and environment, and writing, just to name a few. Within each of these categories, there are tons of groups based in your area that host events, both in-person and online. Being in a group of people with a shared interest is great, but for making friends, being in a group like that that holds regular events is even better.

You can also search events by keywords and dates, so if you're looking to do something in the next few days, chances are you can find something you like. The app also comes with a calendar to organize the events you're interested in. Since the pandemic is still a thing, you can also filter out whether you prefer to see just online or in-person events, which you can sort further into indoor and outdoor meetings.

Groups come in all different sizes, from a thousand members to ten members, and the range in interests is impressive. From Meetup alone, you could find a writing group to hang out with on Saturday and a crochet circle that meets at bars on Sunday. While it may not be the first choice for shier folks who prefer one-on-one meetings for first interactions, it can be a great way to get socializing again with people in your area and get back into some hobbies.

Best For the Pen Pal Experience
Credit: Slowly
Specs
  • Local or long-distance friends: Long distance
  • App or website: Both

If your idea of a good time is a quality chat with a friend, Slowly(opens in a new tab) might just be for you.

Slowly connects users with people from all over the world, but it's so much more than your basic pen pal app. Rather than providing a place to connect and letting you take care of the rest, Slowly is designed for you to you can actually get to know someone.

Though you start with a username and avatar, the idea is that users spend time to write longer letters to each other to make a connection. While writing a thoughtful letter on demand might feel a bit intimidating, Slowly actually makes an interesting twist on the idea of instant connection. You can find people to talk to in no time at all, but the time it takes to deliver letters is based on the real time it would take for a physical letter to travel that distance between users. For instance, it might take about 26 hours for a letter from someone in Germany to reach someone in California.

To make sure you're spending your time writing to someone looking for a similar sort of pen pal, each user's profile indicates the letter length you'd like to send and receive, how long you'd like people to take to respond, what languages you speak, and your interests. And if you're worried about putting effort into a letter someone might decide not to answer, every Slowly profile shows a user's ratio of letters sent and received letters and the last time they were online. Plus, you can adjust filters and limit how many friends you'll accept, so you'll never have to feel buried under too many letters to write.

Best for Finding Community Wherever You Are
Credit: Discord
Specs
  • Local or long-distance friends: Both
  • App or web: Both

Discord(opens in a new tab) was originally created for gamers to connect easier online, but has blown up to so much more since then.

For the unfamiliar, Discord is a communication app where users gather and chat on different servers. Its origin means that many servers are centered around video games and Twitch streamers, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. There are servers around podcasts, subreddits, YouTubers and servers that serve as study groups(opens in a new tab). Basically, you can find any group with a shared interest on Discord. Though it can be a bit confusing at first, you'll soon see that within the servers themselves, there are channels for varying interests — a Twitch streamer's server might have a channels for general chatting and specific video games, as well as a book club, a channel to drop pet pictures, and another one to talk favorite TV shows. Channels keep things from getting chaotic, and make it easy to chat about specific interests within larger groups. If you and someone really see the friendship sparks starting to fly, you can DM and add them to your friend list.

If you can't find a server that speaks to you, creating your own is quick and easy. Making a server is also a great option for strengthening your existing friendships by providing a place to talk, connect, and jump on a call at a moment's notice — think of it like a marginally more interactive group chat.

Best for Getting to Know the Neighborhood
Credit: Nextdoor
Specs
  • Local or long-distance friends: Local
  • App or web: Both

We all know there's no faster way to learn about the neighborhood drama than by getting on Nextdoor(opens in a new tab). While that's plenty of reason to make an account, it can also be a valuable resource for getting to know your neighbors and get involved with your local community.

Maybe Nextdoor doesn't seem like the first spot you'd go to make friends, and to that we ask — what bonds people more than the mutual dislike of the one neighbor that won't stop blasting bad trap music at 2 a.m.? The answer is nothing.

In all seriousness, Nextdoor can pretty good resource to get to know your neighbors. Though there's no formal verification process, you can only have one address associated to your account at a time, so people won't be lurking in several random neighborhoods. In addition to the main news feed where you can see your neighbors' posts, there are tabs for local events and groups. It's basically a more geography-based Facebook, minus any random friend requests. If you want to start meeting people but aren't completely onboard with the idea of using an app just yet, Nextdoor can be a nice place to get started in seeing in how being online can make it easier to connect with people IRL.

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