The best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and anyone hesitant to try online dating

Who it's for:

This site is probably filled with your neighbors, old coworkers, new coworkers, and more. Match(opens in a new tab) is pretty popular with members with diverse backgrounds who share a few common goals: to meet other singles, find dates, form romantic relationships, and meet life partners. 

Why we picked this:

Match(opens in a new tab) is pretty much an open dating service. There's absolutely no limit to who you connect with or how often. After you set your dating criteria, the site will display possible matches. You can tweak or fine-tune the results as you wish. 

With plenty of filtering options, you can search for matches based on shared interests and hobbies, so you'll have something to chat about right away. And if you enjoy browsing anonymously, there's a feature called Incognito Mode that allows you to view profiles without the other person knowing.

You can join for free, but you'll need a premium membership to use most features. Prices fluctuate some but start around $45 for a month-to-month plan. As with pretty much all dating sites, the longer time commitment you make up front, the better month-to-month prices you'll get, though it is worth noting Match no longer offers their six-month free guarantee.

Read our full review of Match.

Who it's for:

Hinge(opens in a new tab) is Tinder and Bumble's slightly more serious sibling, without being quite as serious as Match. It's consistently been the go-to for people open to something long-term but willing to see where a match may take them. The app also has additional gender options and a batch of LGBTQ-specific prompts(opens in a new tab), so it's not just catered to straight, binary/cisgender people.

A Hinge profile is made up of six photos/videos and three prompts, plus basic personal information like age, height, location, education, career, drinking habits, etc.

On your Discover page, you'll see one potential match at a time, and you're able to like or respond to any of their prompts or photos — tap on the heart in the lower corner, and you'll be given the option to type something in or just leave it at a like. In your "likes you" section, you'll see everyone who has liked or responded to something on your profile, and you have the option to respond, let them start the conversation, or pass on them.

The free version of Hinge only lets you see one like at a time, and you have to decide on them to see the next one. Preferred members can see all their matches at once and choose which ones they want to respond to first. Free users get eight likes per day, while preferred members can send out as many likes as they please.

Why we picked this:

Because the app is so prompt-focused, introverts will have a jumping-off point for starting a conversation. The prompts also allow you to show off some of your personality that might not come across naturally if you're more reserved. The audio prompts are an especially fun way to put your personality out without feeling like you're putting yourself out there. Since you see who likes you one profile at a time and are limited (in the free version) to only so many likes daily, there's no pressure to engage in every introvert's nightmare and keep up conversations with 10 different people at once.

If you're not keen on meeting in person right away but still want to go on dates, Hinge also has integrated video dating.

The basic version is completely free and is pretty extensive. You can totally use the app long-term without paying a cent — you'll have to sift through matches one by one. If you like the freedom to browse, you might want to upgrade. Preferred members also get their profiles seen more, so it could be worth it if you're really looking for a relationship.

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Who it's for:

Bumble pushes women to make the first move, so they'll never have to deal with the spam messages or dead matches they'd find on Tinder.

Meet the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees. To correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women must first message with Bumble. It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but like Tinder, you'll at least know that someone also swiped right on you before making a move. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who need to start the conversation every time. (For same-sex matches, either party can start things off.) 

You'll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on your interest. It's a pretty close mock of Tinder, except that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz to remind everyone that it's not just a hookup app.

Why we picked this:

Matches expire after 24 hours, so you can't agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won't be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. It's a win-win setup for introverted people who don't want to be bombarded with messages from people who have no intention of following through and for those who need a little pressure to get the conversation going. 

Bumble has two paid tiers, Boost and Premium(opens in a new tab). Both include backtracking, extending your time, and unlimited swipes. With Premium, you'll also get access to advanced filters, Beeline, and Incognito mode.  

Read our full review of Bumble.

Who it's for:

OkCupid(opens in a new tab) is designed for individuals interested in finding meaningful connections and relationships and willing to invest time and effort into creating a detailed and informative profile to increase their chances of finding compatible matches. Most of its users are between 25 and 34.

Algorithms, formulas, heuristics — the site uses a lot of crazy math stuff to help people find their matches faster. Besides the numbers, the mix of straightforward questions, like "Do you think it’s important to have an emotional connection before a physical one" and more lightly revealing ones, like "Do you clap when the plane lands?" With each question, you also note what answers you'll accept and how important each question is to you. You'll see a percentage rating on each profile you encounter, letting you know the odds of success. 

Why we picked this:

You can really be yourself on OkCupid(opens in a new tab). Whether you're looking for the relationship of your dreams, a one-night stand, or a sham marriage (seriously, we’re not judging), OkCupid doesn't care unless you're being a jerk about it. On OkCupid, you’re more than just a photo, and you can share stories, your passions, and pretty much anything else you want and feel totally at home. 

A basic account is always free. But you can enjoy some paid extras if you want a more premium experience. If you pay for the Basic membership, you can cut out the ads, send unlimited likes, filter out your dealbreakers, and see everyone who's messaged you at once. 

If you spring for Premium, you'll get access to an incognito mode that lets you be invisible to everyone on the site unless you like or message them. Basic memberships start at $34.99 per month, and Premium starts at $44.99 per month. 

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who it's for:

SilverSingles(opens in a new tab) is geared toward people who are 50 and older and looking to jump into the dating pool or back into the dating pool after a hiatus. The site boasts "mature, older, and senior singles" who mainly seek long-lasting connections instead of quick flings. With over 20% of users older than 50, dating doesn't have to mean fishing for people your age on sites like eHarmony and Match.

After answering basic questions about yourself and your desired partner, you can rank how important qualities like age and education level are to a potential match. Then, you can take SilverSingles' in-depth personality questionnaire, which uses the same five-factor model that EliteSingles uses to explore your personality and relationship desires, from how you handle conflict to what you're looking for in a partner.

Why we picked this:

Since there's no swiping involved, you won't come across many matches daily with the pressure to message each person you see. SilverSingles does the hard work for you, using its thorough compatibility model to send you between three to five ideal matches daily.

Each profile is rich with information, too, so you can find out much about the person you matched with before you chat with them.

Who it's for:

EliteSingles(opens in a new tab) says its users are mainly educated, relatively affluent adults between the ages of 30 and 55 who are in search of long-term commitment. The site breakdown by gender is 56 percent women and 44 percent men, with more than 170,000 users. 

To find like-minded matches, EliteSingles has you take an in-depth personality test. The test will evaluate your level of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Based on the results, smart profiling can send you three to seven compatible matches every day. 

Why we picked this:

Since the personality test can identify the traits that really make you who you are, the dating service can match you with exactly the type of personality you'd be most compatible with. 

The extensive personality testing leads to interesting conversation starters, and it's easier to find people you'll have things in common with. You can even identify yourself as an introvert.

It's free to sign up, but if you want to enjoy any of the most important features like daily matches, it'll cost you. While it's not the most expensive site, it sits on the pricier end, especially considering its smaller user base.

Read our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who it's for:

eharmony(opens in a new tab) is best for individuals seeking a serious, long-term relationship. It's also a good option for those who value a more guided, structured approach to online dating.

eharmony uses a compatibility matching system that pairs relationship hopefuls based on 32 different dimensions of compatibility(opens in a new tab). To get started, fill out the relationship questionnaire, and once you're confirmed as legit, the website will send you your compatible matches.

Why we picked this:

eharmony has a feature called RelyID that helps verify the information provided by other members, like their name, city, and age. You know what that means? No catfishing. Also, your profile is only visible to the people who are a good match for you, so the experience can help narrow your potential matches down to only those who are a good fit. 

Results from your personality quiz, prompts you answer, and photos you upload help steer the conversation, so you'll have plenty of jumping-off points. But there's also Guided Communication, a four-step communication program with your matches if you need extra help. If that doesn't work, the site also offers free dating advice(opens in a new tab).

eharmony's pricing heavily fluctuates depending on where and when you sign up. Tentatively, one month of the service will cost you $69.90. Regardless of the current price, eharmony is one of the most expensive mainstream dating sites.

Read our full review of eharmony or our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who it's for:

Lex(opens in a new tab)'s FAQ says "If you identify as part of the LGBT+ community, you are welcome to find queer friendship and community on Lex."(opens in a new tab)

Inspired by newspaper ads, Lex is a text-based app where you can write personal "ads" and notes about yourself or the type of partner you're looking for. There's no swiping or selfies, though you can connect your Instagram if you like.

Why we picked this:

Because there are no photos, you can really hide behind a screen and your words. Lex is more like a queer social media platform than a traditional dating app. You can post, edit, and delete your ads 24/7 and chat with other users via in-app messaging.

Lex is low-key and low-pressure with a community vibe. There are search and filter functions that allow you to find exactly what you're looking for. It's an especially great app if you're recently out and nervous about diving into the queer dating pool.

The best part? It's totally free.

Who it's for:

Coffee Meets Bagel(opens in a new tab) is designed for busy singles looking to build real connections with little to no effort. Users are genuinely looking for something serious, so combining those factors means you'll find a lot of the young professional crowd in their late 20s and 30s on this app. 

CMB(opens in a new tab) uses an algorithm that considers basic info like your location, age, ethnicity, height, religion, and more nuanced criteria like your social network and interests to pair you with potential matches. While you used to need a Facebook account to log in, you can now use the social media site or your phone number.

Why we picked this:

Instead of swiping, browsing, poking, and messaging your way into someone's inbox only to never hear back, this app will send you a potential match every day at noon. Men receive curated matches based on the algorithm, and women will only be presented with potential matches (called Bagels) that have already expressed interest. LGBTQ members are sent preselected potential matches every day.

Once there's a connection, the app sends you to a private chat room with icebreaker questions to get things started. CMB also follows up to encourage your first date. Chatting expires after seven days to encourage people to actually start a conversation. It's all the convenience of connecting online, minus the seemingly endless and overwhelming options. 

Who it's for:

Happn is a dating app for anyone who wants to connect with people they've crossed paths with in real life.

Since its debut in 2014, Happn has been challenging Tinder directly(opens in a new tab) and has the same young swiping app crowd you'd expect. Happn has around 70 million users, with 1.5 million new users monthly. While it doesn't have as many users as the big mainstream dating apps, it has a pretty decent user pool for what it's trying to do.

Believing in love at first sight is kind of hard when you're too nervous to introduce yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you of other users nearby, so if you're too scared to talk to a random cutie on the train or in a coffee shop, Happn can help you match with them and tip you off to other singles who are nearby. It's like having a wingman (minus the bad jokes).

Why we picked this:

While Tinder (and most other dating apps) use your location to some extent, most still require some effort to actually see the person IRL. 

Perhaps there's someone you pass on your walk every morning who has caught your eye, but you've accepted that you'll never meet them — because there's no way in hell you'll start a conversation. If your unidentified crush also has Happn, they'd receive a notification that you exist. If they're interested too, Happn will match you, and the conversation can start from there. There's also an interactive map that shows everyone you've crossed paths with in the last seven days.

If you're really nervous, you can "secret like" someone, and they won't know that you've liked them unless they also like you. This app has plenty of features for people nervous about traditional online dating.

The "Are you single?" conversation is easily one of the most awkward parts of going up to a hottie in a crowd, but Happn helps to detect who's looking and who's not (if they have the app, of course). AskMen's review(opens in a new tab) said it best: "Happn formulates a happy medium between algorithmic online dating and chance encounters."

Most features are free, but you can upgrade to a premium account to see everyone who's liked you, use invisible mode to avoid matching with people at a certain location, hide information on your profile, and more.

Who it's for:

Heybaby is for people who want or have kids. This app for parents or parents-to-be fills an empty gap in the online dating marketplace, but since it went live in 2020, a relatively recent time in dating app years, it doesn't have the most extensive user base yet. 

Being parents can help form a connection, but having similar approaches to parenting is what can make that connection last. That's why heybaby has its users answer a few questions up top, so once you start swiping, you can see your compatibility score with other users based on how many answers you have in common. On some profiles, you'll notice you can improve your score, which means you can answer the questions a potential has, but you haven't — since the app only starts you out with three questions, this step is pretty crucial. 

Why we picked this:

If you're a parent or want kids in the future, knowing when to bring that up with a potential partner can be a little anxiety-inducing. Knowing that you're on the same page with someone from the get-go can save you a lot of energy in the long run, so heybaby's pool of other parents and future parents alike helps add some ease into the search for your someone. 

heybaby also has a more involved process to make sure users are real. To become verified, you have to snap a pic of yourself copying a pose, basically functioning as the dating app version of a Reddit AMA picture. You won't get verified right away — the app emails you some hours later, letting you know whether or not they accepted the picture as legit. 

Who it's for:

Zoosk(opens in a new tab) is for anyone who wants to explore online dating, particularly those open to a range of relationship types and looking for a platform with a large and diverse user base.

Like a good wingman (or wing woman), Zoosk(opens in a new tab) starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or the rest of your life with. The site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The more you interact with the site, the better it can match you with your ideal human. The only problem is, there doesn't seem to be a bunch of humans actually using the website. Once you log on, you'll realize that if Zoosk was once a great place to meet people, it's now a shadow of its former self. 

Why we picked this:

The SmartPick can be your best friend, serving as the best icebreaker. If both you and someone you're interested in vote "yes" on each other's profiles, the SmartPick feature will let you know the good news by email and shoot you a message in your Zoosk inbox. Another good option is the Super Send feature, which could help eliminate the scary feeling of being the one to make the first move. Choose a message to break the ice, then allow Zoosk to blast it out to other members for you using Super Send. One huge downside is that you have to pay to use either of these features; again, you shouldn't expect you'll even run into many active accounts. If you feel that every other dating site and app has let you down, Zoosk is technically an option. 

Read our full review of Zoosk.