These dating sites are actually good for finding a serious relationship

Read our review of eharmony.

Ever see a commercial for eharmony and wonder if a dating site that corny actually works? Weirdly enough, it does. A spokesperson for the site says it's been used by 54 million people and is apparently responsible for 4 percent of U.S. marriages. That doesn't mean you're going to walk down the aisle within the first year, but it at least narrows your options to singles who are open to being exclusive, meeting the family, or moving in together.

What was once a doozy of a sign-up process is now short, sweet, and free of the cheesy, religious questions that held it back from being a top choice for the younger crowd. The 80 questions(opens in a new tab) now cover 32 dimensions(opens in a new tab) (up from 29) of what makes a happy relationship, with dimensions including gender roles, boundaries, compromise, and communication style. Instead of blatantly asking if you get mad easily or if you're emotionally stable, eharmony may ask how you handle apologizing after a fight or if a certain action would piss you off. These hypotheticals draw more natural responses, and a few other fun ones are thrown in to cover surface-level basics like hobbies, too. Though 80 questions is thorough, they're only designed to take you around 20 minutes, which seems like a fair buffer for anyone signing up for a website where they might find their life partner.

It should be noted that eharmony hasn't always been a welcoming place to members of the LGBTQ+ community. Following a 2010 lawsuit, their gay and lesbian spin-off site Compatibility Partners has been folded into eharmony's overall site, but users on Reddit as recently as 2019 say that it still seems geared more toward straight people. Only a year ago did the site finally change its interface so bisexual users could look at profiles of men and women at the same time.

Want to see how eharmony compares to EliteSingles? Go here.

Read our review of Match.

Long-term relationships are the name of the game at Match (no "dot com"). It's OK to admit it: It's kind of comforting that you've been seeing TV commercials about the success of Match for the past 20-some years. Launched in 1995, its decades in the business help Match bring a comforting level of experience to the table for singles wary about online dating(opens in a new tab). 

Match continuously solidifies its spot as a well-rounded choice for all ages because it refuses to get lost in the antiquated, corny trope. Its questionnaire evolves with what modern singles care about — for instance, Match prefers to narrow down matches based on shared interests (like volunteering or clubbing), pet preferences, whether you want (or have) kids, and dealbreakers like smoking or drinking.

Most of us would like to believe that anyone paying over $20 per month is serious, but Match has had its fair share of extreme catfishing(opens in a new tab). But they're working to make this better: Match is set to follow Tinder as the second Match Group app(opens in a new tab) to utilize location-based emergency services via Noonlight, as well as photo verification to authenticate faces with real humans. They've also partnered with Garbo(opens in a new tab), a background check platform, which allows all users two free checks and premium users four free checks. Though it does have a bit of a history, these days, Match is one of the less bot- and hookup-heavy websites, as having most features behind a paywall tends to attract daters looking for commitment. 

Want to know how Match stacks up against eharmony? We got you.

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Read our full review of OkCupid.

For young, progressive singles, politics aren't just a "well, if we agree, it's great" thing when looking for a partner — it's the make or break for a solid romantic foundation. OkCupid's 2017 redesign is more than just millennial aesthetics (though navigating their website and app is super easy): It's geared toward ensuring that you don't end up on a date with someone who doesn't pay attention. Twelve gender identities, 20 sexual orientations, and the option to choose your pronouns make it an ideal space for non-binary and queer individuals to find love while using the pronouns they love.

Users can weed out people they'd fight with on Facebook by answering inquiries like "Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?" or "Should the government require children to be vaccinated for preventable diseases?" In June 2020, the site introduced a Black Lives Matter badge for your profile, and in May 2021, a vaccination badge. You'll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer and have the option of filtering users out by answers, even without a paid membership. In general, though it's definitively a more in-depth dating site, free users can still enjoy access to some of OKC's best features.

On a more basic level, you can also be sure that people matching with you have put in a baseline amount of effort into their profile — only users with actual photos of their face up can start swiping.

Young people looking to at least go on a few dates with the same person before staying the night was a major blind spot for dating sites — until Hinge blew up. The general appeal might be in the same realm as Tinder and Bumble, but Hinge's unique profile criteria and algorithms based on that criteria set the scene for long-term potential. By covering so many bases before the first message, Hinge lowers the chance of meeting someone you'd hate.

Despite the fact that dating apps actually can be fun, no one actually wants to be on them, and with its famous "designed to be deleted" motto, it's clear Hinge gets that. The app's real-world statistics(opens in a new tab) speak for themselves: The "We met" feature asks users how the first date went. Some 90 percent said the first date was great, and 72 percent said they'd be down for a second date.

So what makes for the high rates of success? Instead of droning questionnaires and emails about the 50 winks you were sent, Hinge uses witty personal prompts, and lets you send up to eight likes per day (along with a message, if you so choose). And that's what makes the difference: you actually have to put some time into your own profile, put effort into saying something interesting or witty to matches rather than just sending a like, and be a bit more intentional about who you're picking out from the crowd due to the limited number of likes. Basically, Hinge combines the convenience of a swiping app while encouraging people to actually put in some effort. Plus, the sections for dating intentions and relationship type allow users to indicate how serious they're willing to get, and whether or not they're interested in non-monogamy.

This reputation is well-known, so add that in with the fact that this app encourages you to show off your personality and put yourself out there, and it makes sense why its user base tends to be less afraid of actual long-term commitment.

Read our review of EliteSingles.

The great part about online dating is that it gives you the chance to meet a whole pool of people you wouldn't otherwise. But it only takes dating one person with completely different professional goals to make you realize that a relationship can't stay afloat on romance alone and that maybe that pool of people might be a bit too wide.

For those unwilling to budge when it comes to their partner's educational values and passion for success, EliteSingles attempts to create a space where you can find a range of people who you know off the bat share similar values when it comes to your professional life. The site's claim to fame is that 82 percent of members are college grads (most being between the age of 33 and 50). This is the place for folks who have hit a comfortable stride professionally and are now pursuing a partner who's at the same point in their life. The site's questionnaire decodes 29 personality traits to suggest matches who not only have an income compatible with yours, but with whom you'd mesh based on communication styles, ideal first dates, and whether you're one to make the first move.

Past users report a feed full of people who live way farther away than they indicated in their preferences, which is borderline ironic considering the whole conceit of the site is about showing you a specific pool of daters. Plus, the lowest distance you can filter your search to is 50 miles away, so there is built-in leeway for the reality that looking for a more specific type of person may require you to expand your physical location horizons some. And unfortunately, it's hard for any dating website to catch everyone who's lying about their job or income.

Apps like Tinder and Bumble are technically for *everyone,* but they'll be damned if they don't sneak some male profiles into feeds belonging to people who requested otherwise. Given the existence of Grindr and Scruff, the need for an online dating arena specifically for queer women was clear — thus, HER. 

The founders of the award-winning app are committed to cultivating a space that’s “so ragingly queer(opens in a new tab)" that frustrated women can delete apps that don't feel like home. As the user base of over 4 million grows, HER could widen your dating pool beyond the queer women you already know. As the app grows, users online have complained that there does seem to be an increase in bot accounts, so if you do come across a profile that seems suspiciously sparse, you'll want to remain wary.

Still, HER remains the main app solely for queer women. Users can get creative in profile building with categories like diet preferences (like veganism), and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to supply a more well-rounded understanding of identity. 

The traditional text bio is where you can flex your sense of humor or describe what kind of relationship you're seeking. Joining niche groups like "newly out" or "travelers" can introduce you to people using the app for similar reasons. The app also has a social media component for you to check out events going on in the queer community, either local to you or online, so you can make connections beyond romance. In addition to matching with people, you can also add them as friends if you're the type that likes to start things platonically and see where they go. To make your intentions about something serious clear (and know where others may lie), you can also fill out the "Looking For" section.

We have all witnessed someone swiping with chaotic abandon on dating apps, liking any profile that comes across their screen. You know those same people are sending out a "hey" to every match they do get just to see how far their minimal efforts can take them. The quantity strategy is certainly a bold one, but not one all that conducive to finding something real.

Bumble's whole setup, while being known most for its rule that women must start the conversation, is actually great for combatting this sort of serial swiper. For starters, matches only last 24 hours, so clogging up your queue unintentionally isn't really a winning strategy for anyone. Since women have to be first to message for the match to stay active, the issue of men sending out a mass "hey" becomes basically moot. (Unfortunately, men do seem to be more guilty of this behavior(opens in a new tab), but to be fair, there is a lot of pressure for them to initiate after matching).

Beyond that, the app is pretty similar to Tinder, with some prompts and filters thrown in that keep things a step up from casual. Likely, you'll find a similar crowd here, but perhaps in this space, one more willing to chat and see where things go.

As for its paid options, Bumble is a bit on the pricey side but offers tiers with Boost and Premium(opens in a new tab), which allow you to go back to those profiles you accidentally left swiped on, extend matches (but only by another 24 hours), and use the advanced filters to your heart's content. It's really up to you if you want to spring for the extras since Bumble's free version is more than adequate to aid in the search for your someone. 

Dating over 50 means that, more than likely, this is your second or third attempt at love. When match or eharmony's user bases still pose too much of a never married, no-kids crowd, SilverSingles is here to let you know that putting yourself back out there during your golden years doesn't have to be scary. 

A sister site to EliteSingles, SilverSingles uses the same intense compatibility system that EliteSingles does, bringing in the popular big five personality traits(opens in a new tab) to assess five levels of your being: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Rather than sitting around sifting through a never-ending pool, you'll receive five handpicked matches per day. Make sure you pay attention to the locations of potential matches, though. Also, like its sister site, SilverSingles has a habit of ignoring location radius preferences. 

The personality test you complete when signing up is fairly standard for a dating site, asking questions about what you're like with groups of people, what kind of partner you're looking for, and what you're most thankful for in your life. It does ask a couple of questions about whether or not you have kids at home and if you've been married before, but it would be nice if the test was a smidge more targeted to an older audience. For instance, a question like, "Would you want to have more kids?" is a consideration that's very different for SilverSingles users than, say, Match or even eharmony users. 

Ultimately, the site doesn't reinvent the online dating wheel, which makes it simple to navigate but maybe leaves you wishing it made better on its promise of being for an exclusively older crowd.

Grabbing coffee is the low-pressure date idea that lets you skip trying to choose a dressy-but-not-too-extra outfit for a concert or a restaurant. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the "grabbing coffee" version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easy-going atmosphere to folks who might just be a little rusty. 

Millions upon millions of active users is usually a plus. It is nice to know that your options are virtually limitless, but it's a bit jarring to have 20 new messages to read every time you sign on. This happens on eharmony and Tinder alike — people want connection, and they want it now. 

Every day, CMB offers seven of its best matches (bagels) for you, chosen by your answers to prompts, how you swiped on yesterday's batch, and who have already expressed interest in you, too. This slow and steady approach is great for singles who are rusty, introverted, or who simply don't feel like scrolling every free minute.

You're encouraged to get the ball rolling with matches disappearing in seven days. It's less pressure than Bumble's 24-hour time limit but still eliminates a list full of people who don't care enough to respond or plan a meet-up. Like a few other apps, CMB won't show your profile to other users unless you have a clear picture, automatically filtering the whole section of faceless profiles you'll find on other apps. 

Another standout feature of CMB is the activity report at the bottom of everyone's profile. Though only available to premium users, it'll show a user's stats, like how often they're active and how long it takes for them to reply. Maybe a bit invasive, but also maybe a bit useful in deciding whether or not a new match is worth your time.

Let's just get this one out of the way. If you're thinking of dating apps, you're thinking of Tinder. They pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function, revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting 1.6 billion swipes per day. What started out as a niche hookup app has turned into a wingman that most of us have used at least once in our life. As you're served a series of photos, swipe right if you like what you see and left if you don't. When you both indicate interest, it's a match.

Tinder may not want to advertise as such, but we all know what it's mostly used for. You're quite literally deciding if you want to interact with someone based on nothing but profile pictures and a quote from The Office — but hey, we all know those couples who met on Tinder and have been together for years. It's fast and easy, and if there's one app that even the shyest, most skeptical people will be on, it's Tinder. Sure, you may not find someone looking to settle down for a while, but if you don't mind dating around or taking things slow at first, Tinder isn't a bad place to be. Plus, with their new "Relationship Goals" feature, it's easier to suss out from a quick glance at someone's profile whether or not they'd be interested in something long-term.

Tinder is famously free, but fewer people know about its three tiers of paid upgrades: Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold(opens in a new tab), and Tinder Platinum. These include extras(opens in a new tab) like undoing a left swipe (bless), sending "Super Likes" to people you're really into, seeing which users have liked your profile (for Tinder Gold users), and even, in the case of Tinder Platinum, usurping the known rules of the app to message someone before you match with them. 

If you got this far and still haven't found the app for you, perhaps you're interested in hookup apps instead? Here is one.

Let's scrap the dreaded "What are we?" talk, shall we? PURE is the place to find a hookup who won't text you earlier than midnight. App rules urge you to "pretend like you're strangers afterwards," making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This minimalistic and hella millennial app is no-nonsense, sex-positive, and even features some art — the blueprint of what a hookup app should be. 

Your uploaded selfies, personal info, and conversations with others self-destruct every 60 minutes, promoting spur-of-the-moment and borderline anonymous connections. The app will ask for your phone number and credit card info, but that's just to make sure you're a real person. It also uses your geolocation and sends out the sex version of an Uber request, rather than trying to pair you with someone who lives in another state.

We like that Pure gives all the feels of a hookup-only site without the obnoxious spam and nudes everywhere. We also like that though it's for quick and casual encounters, the app still provides free use of filters so you can really find what you're looking for. The surge of blatant sex positivity is a breath of fresh air when compared to other dating apps that try to convince you that you'll find your soulmate.